Posts Tagged ‘contemplation’

Am I an anomaly?

Standing up for what I believe.

Accepting that everything is a part of me

 -

Am I an aberration?

Living in my imagination.

Hoping for a free global nation

Reading a book series in which these words are used frequently, this sprung out of no where while I was reading a chapter yesterday. Thought I would share. I think I would rather be both an anomaly and an aberration than someone who goes along with the norm just to fit in and be safe. I’m an out-of-the-box kind of girl :)

(The series is Matched/Crossed/Reached by Ally Condie)

Whenever I bring up (in conversation) population size/growth I always get the “Lindsay’s at it again, that girl is crazy!” side glances.

Am I the only one who thinks that over population of our planet is one of our biggest worries?

In the short 24 years I’ve been on this planet we have put over a billion people on it! Is this not completely absurd? I can only imagine how many people we will create in the next 24, 50, 100 years.

I have given up on the thought of having my own children simply because of these figures. I cannot knowingly put more beings on this planet, while there are millions of children, teens and adults alike starving for a better life (I hope to adopt one day). This does not mean that I am in any way against people having children of their own. My sister gave birth to twins a little under a month ago and I have begun to worry about their future. Will they have enough food to eat, water to drink, air to breathe when they are my age or older? Will their children or their children’s, children be starved of these necessities? What kind of life will they live on this depleting planet?

I thought the reason for procreation was about the survival of the species? To create a new generation of species hopefully stronger and more resilient than the last. Now reproduction seems more of a recreation, than a survival mechanism. We are taught (at least in western society) that the measure of a good life is getting and education, entering a career, finding a mate and having children. This is a good life…or is it? We seem to be breeding at excessively high rates and the offspring, I find aren’t stronger or more adaptable than the last. In fact, they are in many ways weaker(this generation is expected to be the first generation that will not outlive their parents). I agree that every generation opens their mind a bit more which is promising but the fact that we are still teaching our children to rely so heavily on non-renewable resources and technology, frightens me. These things will too run out, these things will too come to an end and then what?

I was born in the late eighties, both my grandparents and parents grew up without television, without running water, my dad(along with his brothers) even hunted pheasants and rabbits to put food on the table. I grew up hearing “When I was a kid we didn’t have blah, blah, blah.” I was always highly aware that the conveniences of today were just that, conveniences. I worry that the kids born in the new millennia will never care to learn about how life was before the industrialized revolution. When I was young the past was still very close, only 40-50 years earlier were things much different. However, today it is closer to a century, we are living in the science fiction novels of the late 1800 and early 1900′s. It is hard even for me sometimes to see how far we have come in such a short period of time, hard mainly because it is worrisome. We move so fast in todays society, barely able to wait for the next big thing, already working on the next big thing before the last big thing even came out. Only the big thing is not saving us, it’s killing us.

Here is a few concepts for thought. We spend all this time and money on finding a cure for cancer, surgeries for obesity, pills for mental illness, but we spend little to no time on figuring out why these have become so common in our society. I think it is something like 1-4 people will have some type of cancer in their life, 42% of Americans are over-weight and it seems that almost everyone knows someone who has or had some form of metal illness (I myself have family members currently fighting with all three of these diseases). Why can we not put some effort into figuring out what is causing this cancer, this obesity, this mental illness?(these are only a few of the problems we face daily).

I for one believe much of it is coming from the food we put into our bodies that is laced with chemicals and jam packed with ridiculous amounts of salt and sugar. The air we breathe everyday, all day is becoming more and more contaminated. We are demolishing the very things this planet needs to support our livelihood. We are not even close to as active as we were just 50 years ago, we also live in a high stress, face paced global society, which leaves us with little to no time for meditation and reflection. People rarely take the time to be grateful for what they have because they always think they need more, that they have the right for more.

I am not suggesting I have the answers to these problems. I am not a scholar, but I am a human, a human that is hoping for a better future for all life on this planet. I still have hope for mankind (even with all it’s issues) I feel we can make a change if we start talking about the things that we are ignoring everyday, and start putting action to our words.

This seems to be another one of those blogs where I start somewhere and end up somewhere completely different. I don’t want to these words to be preachy. I am not the knower of all things, I only write what I feel, and today and many days this is how I feel. Why I worry about these things, I do not know, all I know is I do, I worry for you and me, for the trees and the bees! (always good to end a serious blog with a rhyme!)

Peace and Love

Lindsay, The Non-Knower of things :)

wordsofunwisodm:

I recently began reading 1984 by George Orwell and was struck by this line “It’s a beautiful thing , the destruction of words.”
For those of you who are not familiar with the novel it is about a Dystopian society in which the entire population is under surveillance 24/7 and the language is continually broken down to the bare minimum needed to communicate (newspeak). By destroying words the government (Big Brother) is able to control how people think, understand and interact with each other.
After reading that line I instantly remembered writing this blog (watch your language) and I was slightly shocked at myself! There IS a reason we have synonyms they are not useless (what was I thinking?!). I think sometimes I am frustrated with people using words improperly and in inappropriate ways which can lead to miscommunication. I still however do believe that silence is a virtue, and that when we are truly silent we can hear what is most important!
Peace and Love
Lindsay

Originally posted on wordsofhonestunwisdom:

The older I get the more I have noticed that Language is in many ways a hinderance to humanity. I remember being a kid and saying a word over and over until it didn’t even sound like a real word. This exercise made me question Who decides words? Who said that one is one not two? Who said up was up an not down? I then started to wonder what if everything I knew as language was backwards. What if what we know as red was actually called green? This intrigued me.

As I reached what some would call Adulthood I noticed another thing about Language, Tone. I had long heard the phase It’s not what you say but how you say it. As an adolescent I hated the phrase. To me I delivered words of rebellion in the same way I delivered words in usual conversation. Being…

View original 306 more words

I found this note as I was perusing my Facebook and I had to laugh. I wrote this Blog right before my 19th Birthday about becoming an adult and what that means. Surprisingly I still agree with much of the things I wrote, all except one. I don’t think at 18/19 you’re an adult. Hell I’m almost 24 and I still struggle with the possibility that I am becoming an adult. These days I try to hang onto anything that can be considered youthful (i.e. my imagination and love for colouring books lol). I thought I would share this blog with you all in hopes that maybe you would get a laugh out of it or maybe even some support or inspiration. It’s fun/nostalgic to look back on your former, younger self. I almost feel like a completely different person (I guess I kind of am!) Hope you enjoy and please if you have anything to contribute to the concepts of adulthood please do!

Things I learned after I turned 18, and moved out: (August 2, 2007)

Now that I am fast approaching my 19th birthday I think it is fitting to look back on this year, and the many things I have learned that come with becoming an adult and moving out. So, when you turn 18 you don’t really feel any different. I mean of course there is the obvious excitement of graduating and becoming what you so longed to be an “adult”. But not till now did I realise what it really means to be an adult. Adulthood is not something that can fully be described, because you cannot fully understand it until you are there. Here are some of the interesting, funny, and stressful things I learned in the past year of becoming an adult.

1. Family is always there for you, no matter how much they anger you, no matter if you hate them and are frustrated with them, they will always be there. You have to learn to swallow your pride, and go back to them when there’s no one else. And yes I know it’s hard, but it has to happen and it will happen.

2. You don’t know everything. Contrary to what you may think now, it’s true. And once you take the time to realise that you don’t know everything, you actually learn more. You become more open to new ideas, and see that sometimes your wrong and sometimes you need help.

3. Responsibility sucks, yeah that’s right I said it. Seriously being in charge of your own life is not as peachy as it sounds. Simple decisions become stressful and you need to make choices that used to be made for you. For example, going to school or doing your homework. You need to decide and make choices that can make or break your life, and that’s stressful and hard, and ongoing…but don’t worry it does get easier the more choices you make.

4. Grocery shopping is harder than it looks. You soon learn why your mom never bought the food you wanted, why because it’s expensive, and honestly not that good for you. I know it sucks to hear, but eating healthy is important and you have a new respect for it once you get over puking from all the junk you eat when you first leave.

5.Your parents were right when they told you to go to bed early. I mean not that I obey this rule now because I don’t, but you do realise that once a week you should go to bed at a reasonable hour. Trust me you will feel refreshed and be ready for another late night on the town.

6. Friends will be lost. Yes, people your best friend from elementary school will grow up to, and in turn you may grow apart. I experienced much of this in the past year. When you become and adult so do your friends and your like and dislikes become different and in turn you may grow apart. Not to say that this happens in every situation but just know to be prepared to lose some friends.

7. New friends will be gained. You will meet new people and maybe even meet people who will change your life. You may even find your best friends in this stage. During stressful, awkward, and tough times you are forced to bond will people who are going through the same situation. In my case this was my roommate and a girl I met in my first semester English class. I know it’s hard to think of the positive in this crazy year, but I have two of the best friends ever thanks to it.

8. Budgeting money is important. Again your parents were right when they told you to save up. Okay I know this is starting to become a “parents are always right” article, but surprisingly they are right about lots of things. Budgeting money is hard but it has to be done, and soon wants get put on the back burner and needs are what you focus on.

9. Good Times are to be had. So most of these things may seem negative or depressing, but seriously this past year, even with all the stress has been one of the best of my life. You learn to laugh at the situation you are in and make light of it, and you learn how to change it for the better. Like I say you have to dig through all the crap to get to all the good times.

So to all the youngins out there fast approaching adulthood, don’t be worried, don’t be sad just be prepared. Soon you will be experiencing some of the best memories you’ll ever have. Just remember this little tid bit, digging for gold never came without cost but the payoff is worth it. And I encourage you all to no matter what keep on digging, and pushing, and fighting, life it gets easier, trust me I went through it.

I love how I suggested that I went through life, I had barely lived at all yet, oh the naivety of youth! 

I am constantly surprised by how people I know and love think about the world and the people in it. I recently had a discussion with a friend about how much people generalize humans into specific groups, whether it be gender, sexual orientation, race, culture or career. Where I am from there is many misconceptions about First Nations/Native/Indian/Aboriginal people. Many people describe this race as being alcoholics/lazy/addicts/bums/dirty/homeless people. There is a terrible history between what you may classify settlers of Canada and the original people from the continent, the First Nations. I do not wish to get into the specifics but there was many wars and disagreements and conflicts that eventually ended in the signing of the Treaties. Sadly this did not end the hate and bigotry towards the race, in some ways it made the judgments and generalizations worse.

This brings me to a conversation I recently had with a friend. I was fighting my point that you just cannot generalize any group of people (on this day we were specifically talking about aboriginals) because not all people are the same not matter what “group” you may personally assign them to. This friend then gave me the example of two apple trees:

On one side you have an apple tree that produces mainly bright red, perfect apples, that appear to be the best apples out there however, this  tree produces a few apples that are misshapen, brown and mushy. On the other side you have the same kind of apple tree that appears to produce predominantly bad apples that aren’t as appealing as the others. But again on that same tree there is also bright red, crisp, perfect apples that look the same as the other attractive apples on the opposite tree. The friend then asked Which tree do you pick apples from, which tree to you water and keep alive? The tree with the abundance of “good” apples or the tree with mostly “bad” apples?

I answered honestly, in the fact that innately if it was for survival I would probably pick from the “good” apple tree and support its life. However, if I was being logical I would simply pick the “good” apples from both trees and support growth of both trees since neither tree was completely without flaw. I also implied that it was not realistic to use a metaphor about a plants and apply it to human behaviour.

This friend was not enthused by my answer and suggested that I, as well as everyone would choose the good tree because we live in a survival of the fittest world. I began to explain that I don’t believe we live in that kind of reality anymore (at least in the western world) I believe we don’t have to leave the sick/weak/suffering/struggling to die or rot in their own life just so we can keep on living. I believe (in this day) we have the power overcome what some may call our innate sense of selfishness, our ability to pick out peoples differences and avoid things that make us uncomfortable. I told this friend that I believed this because I live it. I work on breaking through my judgments and stereotypes because I meet people who break the ideals I or society have imposed upon them. This friend still believed that it was not possible for me to do what I am doing, and we ended the discussion at that.

The funny thing is if it wasn’t possible for me to break through my own misconceptions then I wouldn’t have been able to keep this person as a friend. Just because he/she had these stereotypes about these people I didn’t judge him/her. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, that is my opinion. There is a reason that I did not use a name in this blog, because this blog is not about attacking someone for their beliefs its about understanding that not all people have or rather choose to have an open mind. Sometimes people find that living inside the box is safer, easier and more fruitful. Being on the outside I can only reach my hand in and offer a possible way out.

I enjoy to having these kinds of discussions with people. I like to talk about things that may cause them discomfort or anxiety in an attempt to make them think or see things differently. I don’t know if this friend ever thought of our discussion again, but I know I think about it often. It just makes me wonder what other things people believe, what other things people think they know about the world. It also worries me that still in this day people are so consumed in their own ideas and opinions. When will we stop thinking of the world as billions of individuals with certain characteristics trying to survive and start thinking of it as one solid system of life, love and happiness?

This story has been haunting me, these characters are so real, honest and true to me. I cried when I wrote this part. I realized these people are so much a part of me and this is a story I need to tell and it is a story that will be told, my mind will accept nothing less. Here is another blurb from Gray Hayles: (I apologize for not including names but I would like to keep some things a secret so when I finish the story all of it isn’t known)

As we walked underneath the canopy of stars, I wrapped my arm around her waist. Holding her hand was not enough anymore, I had to have her closer, nearer, soaking in all the warmth of her love she so freely radiated. She was like my own personal sunshine, penetrating me with constant rays of love, compassion and kindness. I felt her slide her hand up my neck, she pulled me in close locking her chocolate gaze on mine. She gently pressed her velvet lips against mine, my hands began to tingle and my knees went weak. I squeezed her waist tighter, desperately trying to keep myself from falling into her body. Just then she pulled away and looked me deep in the eye. She drew in a deep breath, smiled that glorious smile and said, “Thank God I met you, ” she uttered the words with such conviction.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain at the base of my skull, as I fell to the ground I heard her scream. Momentarily blinded I began to panic, my ears went silent and I was transported to a dark, warm place where I had an overt sense of happiness. I began to question am I dead? In an instant I was thrust back to reality. My eyes jolted open and my chest convulsed as I gulped air into my deprived lungs.

As things slowly came into focus I saw her face, she smiled, but as things became clearer I was struck. There was no words to describe the horror I felt in that moment. Her face was swollen and badly bruise, she had a large lump above her left cheek which was pressed awkwardly against the road. Her leather jacket was gone and her dress was torn exposing her skin which was now painted a beautiful shade of red. I examined her body for other afflictions but everything seemed intact. There was an unusual amount of blood pooling around her  head, it began to leak into the cracks in the pavement, every second rushing closer to me. She kept her brown marble eyes on me, her breathing became slower, her smile never left. I noticed my own river of blood escaping my body, creating its own streams, snaking through the road eventually merging into an ocean of blood dividing us. It was warm, like a liquid blanket protecting me from the brisk midnight air.

I tried to speak but nothing would come out, I tried to move but it was as if my muscles had left my body. My bones felt like metal rods grinding my flesh into the cement. My right arm was stretched out in front of me, I wished I could reach further and touch her face. She began to flinch and cough, then a small stream of blood fell from her mouth. Still looking at me she began to drag her arm from the side of her body. It seemed to take hours for her to reach my fingers, but she did. There we lay, our arms drowning in a cocktail of our blood. She began to cough more, choking on the flow pouring from her mouth.

I began to accept that this was it, this was how we would die. I was trying to make peace out of this knowing. I tried to be thankful for being able to share our last moments together, but I was resentful. I felt her squeeze what little of my hand she had grasped. Staring at her, I focussed all my energy on squeezing back. I must have succeeded because I saw her beautiful face display a broader smile. Within seconds of what I now know was our last embrace, she took her last breath and her lips released the crescent she had so stubbornly held. Her eyes never closed and her spirit did not abandon the earth, instead she hovered above my body raining down a gentle calm. My stare was locked on her once glistening eyes as rivers flowed from mine.

At first I began to ask for her back, begging the universe, promising my life, if only she would come back to her body, back to me. When my attempts failed I then began to ask to be taken with her, but my prayers were not answered. Instead I laid there labouring to breathe, my head throbbing in pain, my love laying there lifeless parallel to my body. I felt like I had been there for days but as I looked up I realized the canopy of stars still lit the night sky.

If only we could see, what this world could be

Always thinking of me, me, me

Never of the others suffering

  -

Trying to find ways to flee, avoiding conflict desperately

Always fighting to be free

Why can’t we all live in harmony?

Dear uWise One, You are anything but unwise. I love what you have to say about yourself and what you write. I take it you’re from Canada? Would like to know more about what has most influenced you as a person, poet and philosophical searcher. I wish there were more unWise ones in the world. It humbles me and gives me hope for the future.
- Gordon Stewart –

 First of all thank you for your questions and kind words. I assure you they humble me. :)

At first I was skeptical of answering this question because I really have no education in the area of philosophy or writing. All I know is that I was always an inquisitive child, curious for answers asking endless bounds of questions. My parents were very helpful in this development they always encouraged me to ask questions and listen and talk about anything and everything. I also had a passion for writing poetry and prose as a child. I remember being encouraged by my grade 2 teacher to never stop writing and I have listened to her. When I look back at my writings from childhood I see the wonder and curiosity I had that started from very young age and seemingly sprouted out of no where. My only explanation for it is that I must have been born with it. Even so I have never considered myself a writer or a poet or even an artist. (however with all this blog love I might started considering it)

That being said my real philosophical journey began after I dropped out of university. Once I left I began to read endless amounts of books about everything. I was so angry at being forced to read books during my 14 years in the education system. I always hated reading in school and being expected to have certain opinions or understand the book in a certain way. So I rebelled by reading as many books as I wanted on every topic that interested me (oh what a rebel, ha!). The more I read, the more I wrote, and the more I wrote the more I read. It was a continuous circle of thoughts, ideas and questions. Then one day in 2010 I went to Chapters Bookstore to pick up some books on the 2012 End of The World Prophecies as I had become weirdly curious with this concept. I pulled a book from a shelf and another book tipped over, my eyes were drawn to the tilted book and I was immediately intrigued by the title, it read The Book of Not Knowing By Peter Ralston. I picked it up and put it on the pile of others I had collected. When I got home I and in the following weeks I read through the 2012 books and was almost convinced that the world could realistically end in two years (ah how naive). A few days later I began The Book of Not Knowing and my mind was immediately expanded.

I have to admit with minimal education the book was difficult for me to read/understand but the book reassured me that what I was reading now, would make more sense later if only I would keep reading. So I did as it asked. Everyday I read more, I did the exercises it asked me to do. Some were writing exercises others were focussed solely on your thoughts and awareness. Every time I would read the book I could almost feel my mind being opened. The weird thing was that book was not providing me with any answers in fact it started making me question things that I thought I had the answers for.    Eventually I came to the near end of the book in which it asks you to re-read from the beginning because this was the point of no return. I was shocked. It had taken me months to get through the bulk of the book and now I was expected to re-read it before I finished it?! Needless to say I was irritated so I simply closed the book and pledged to myself that I would re-read it eventually but not anytime soon.

Well, it has been two years since I put the book down I have yet to re-read and finish it but yet I am still feeling the effects of what I read everyday. When I stopped reading the book was when my real, honest and true philosophical journey began. In the simplest sense The Book of Not Knowing made me question everything I thought I knew and contemplate anything that could ever be or not be. It recharged my love for curiosity, philosophy, ontology and life in general. I still plan on finishing it one day but not until I feel I’m losing sight on the things I have learned…or better yet unlearned.

Check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/Book-Not-Knowing-Exploring-Consciousness/dp/1556438575

http://www.gordoncstewart.com

Backstory

I stopped believing in God over ten years ago. Shortly before I lost my faith (not that I really had much to begin with) I stopped believing in the devil. I came to the conclusion that the devil was simply made up to scare people into being Godly or following God’s word. So I chose not to believe in such a thing. Soon after I chose not to believe in God either. I had the realization that there could be no God. God for me became Santa Claus or Unicorns or Leprechauns. It appeared to me that faith was simply a coping mechanism for all the things we cannot understand in our world, and I personally did not feel I needed answers. For me I have less guilt and more freedom  without god/religious duty looming over my head. That being said I have no judgement towards faith/religious lovers, I am the first one to say believe in whatever you want to believe in, and I will believe in mine.

This brings me to the topic of my blog today. I was recently at and event where someone suggested that to be a good person and to carry out justice for all, you somehow must  have god’s light in your heart. I don’t overly agree with this. I would have to say bluntly I have none of God’s light in my heart. My heart is made of blood and muscle and tissue. It’s made of the same thing that your heart is made of. This however may suggest that I am a bad person, selfish, vain, greedy. I hate this stereotype of non believers. I consider myself a good person and in a way I feel like I feel more pain than most because I try everyday to have compassion for every person, and living thing on this planet. More and more these days I see how everything is connected and that the stars in the sky are on the same level as mosquitos, as carbon, as music, as humans. Everything we have today is because of how this Universe has developed at random. To me life is a gift but not a gift given by  someone or something. A gift of happening, a side effect of our Universe. And I try to live in this gift as a peaceful person not because I was taught to but because I want too, because hate, violence, judgement and intolerance have never amounted to anything positive.

In this world we know very little, however we have the perception that we know everything. We spend all this time worrying about ours things, relationships, aesthetics and frankly our own opinions. If people only realized that an opinion is nothing but a group of your personal perceptions about any one said thing. For instance, “That couch is beautiful,” is only a perception of the object; It is not soft or hard, beautiful nor ugly, the couch is simply a couch. Perception is everything in this world, in a way it’s humanity’s  greatest downfall.