You know that place, I live there (a semi dramatic reading)

Posted: November 21, 2012 in story, thought, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I live there (this is the link to the post spoken out loud)

You know that place deep down inside you, the place where you hide all your feelings. It’s a dark, cold, hateful place full of sadness and regret. Yes, that place.

 

I live there.

 

Been hiding in here for years now, ever since the day I was frightened into concealing how I felt.

 

Don’t feel bad for me, it’s really not that horrible down here. I mean besides how cold it is. If I longed for anything it would be to feel that warmth again, but I know the only way to attain that is to climb out and my fear is to great to let me do that.

 

I have friends to keep me company, sure. Sadness, by far the easiest to deal with and least painful. Sadness is always there for me, in fact Sadness never leaves, such a loyal friends. Regret is another good friend. Always pointing out the things I did wrong and helping me understand if I only did things another way I wouldn’t have gotten trapped down here. Sometimes I spend days with Regret analyzing all the mistakes I have made in my life. My least favorite friend is Guilt. Guilt like Sadness is always there but Guilt hurts. Guilt burns at me all day and night. Guilt questions me “Why are you here? No normal person would choose to live here. I hope you feel angst by being down here. You deserve it. You’re not normal, you’re sick and disgusting.” Guilt enjoys lashing at me from all angles, pouring salt in my already weeping wounds. I have to give Guilt credit though, Guilt is always honest, never tells me a lie. Darkness is the only other friend I have down here. Darkness fills in all the other cracks left by Guilt, Sadness and Regret. Darkness wraps me up in its ice cold blanket, shielding me from any warmth that may venture in.

 

Somedays I think about leaving this place but then Regret swoops in and reminds me of the time I let my feelings out, the day that made me come here and then I decide it would be easier if I just stay. There are days that someone tries to reach their hand in and pull me out but don’t let them. If they knew how it is down here they wouldn’t try to save me. It’s hopeless, I’m hopeless.

 

You know that place, that dark, cold place inside you, the place where you hide the feelings.

 

I live there.

 

Please don’t come and find me it’s not worth it.

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Comments
  1. jjhiii24 says:

    You should return to your roots in the dramatic arts. Not only is your script powerfully moving and resonant for many people, but the rendering in the spoken version made me want to form a posse and bring you a ladder.

    Fear, self doubt, guilt, and regret are all part of being human, and the darkness, far from being a liability, is essential to maintaining a balanced perspective. It’s only when we acknowledge these components that we can seek compensatory elements to achieve balance. You are well on your way to this achievement.

    Courage is not the absence of fear. It is pressing forward in spite of our fears. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that one who is wise, when tbey find themselves in a storm, does not pray for safety from danger, but instead for deliverance from fear, “…for it is the storm within which endangers (them) and not the storm without. ”

    You are a bright and engaging writer and actor and I would love to read or listen to your script detailing your rescue from that place. My guess is that it would surpass this script exonentially in emotional power and dramatic effect.

    Warm regards. …John H.

  2. I know this place; it is full of deception and dark corners. But round the darkest corners, there are hidden escape routes, and Guilt is too gorged with self-congratulation to follow you x

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