Posts Tagged ‘Compassion’

I turned this post into a video blog, here’s the link http://telly.com/AHJBM3

I think I have an analogy for the world, a comparison, a similarity….Okay, I don’t really know what it is so I’m going to begin with a bit a backstory. A setting up of the punch line if you may.

As some of you may know I am a nanny for triplets, all girls. I’ve been taking daily care of them for fours years now. As many of you may not know, caring for triplets and or raising them is quite different from raising a singleton, twins, or several kids of different ages. It comes with many disadvantages but also its fair share of positives. I love my job and have gained so much life experience by being able to submerge myself into the family mould both by becoming family member but also an observer. Everyday get to see the challenges a family/marriage must face from a relatively non-bias point of view. Is it a beautiful thing to witness but also somewhat tragic. I see how much the outside world affects who you are as a person. When I started watching the girls were barley speaking, they had such a limited vocabulary because they had developed their own language to talk amongst themselves, they spoke triplet. This quickly changed as I talk A LOT and was spending upwards of 10hrs a day with them. They were quick to learn from me.

As they grew older and their vocabulary grew larger I tried to teach them as best I could to be understanding of others. I love to see them standing up to anyone who uses a colour as an adjective to describe as person.

“People are not colours.”  They say.

“What?” Confused bystander.

“They’re just people.” They smile and continue on.

This is not a dramatization this has happened many times, they are expremely vocal to and about their surroundings.

I’ve Mentioned before in a post but I think it’s important to repeat that we have also discussed things like same-sex relationships, adoption, poverty, charity, amputations, metal disabilities, crime, recycling, aliens, religion, racism, and hate among a plethora of other things. Now I want you to understand we don’t sit down and say, “Today we are going to talk about same sex relationships.”
No, they always initiate it by asking a question about something that is abnormal or different to them. I answer them in the way I would have wanted to be answered when I was a child. They responded greatly to this. Now that they have begun school some of this teaching has been damaged by opinions of their peers and their peers personal family ideal, however I do still see more empathy and compassion in their souls then most adults and I hope the world doesn’t keep breaking it down.

I seem to have gotten a little off track but as I said this is the back story to this epic analogy to describe equality and the lack their of it (if you haven’t guessed yet, the triplets are involved ;p )

About 20 min ago I was telling my best friend about my day with the girls and how I painted all three of their nails. I told her how they always want to have the exact same colour and exact same pattern as their sisters have (this happens when we do crafts as well) Today I didn’t let the girls see each others nails until they were all completed and each had picked different patterns and colours. I had a realization that they all wanted to be the same because in their mind “same= equal”, “equal=same”. They always want the same amount of attention and praise, and if one receives an extra praise for her beautiful nails then they see that girl as somehow more important or better. AHA! So much of the fighting, arguing and frustration they have with their sisters makes sense now. That being said, I feel like it will be hard to break this habit, but I hope to stress to them that different doesn’t stand for better… or worse for that matter.

Now here’s the analogy, the comparison, the similarity. The triplets are really just a miniature version of our current world. People believe and most likely have always believed and may possibly continue to believe that difference creates inequality. That to have equality you must have sameness, that we Must all believe the same thing, perceive the same, see the same to be equal.

I would like to dispute this!

I believe the core quality of equality is acceptance. If there must be any sameness, let it be that we all treat everything in is world as if  all on the same level. Every single thing on this planet deserves respect and love from the smallest grain of sand to the last star in the Sky. It may seem like such a large, exaggerated, unimaginable expectation but that is how open my mind is.
Equality = acceptance of difference + love x compassion. Such a simple equation.

I want to leave you with this unwisdom challenge of the day, of the month, of your life.

Take a moment, now or later, tomorrow or ten years from now. Just take a moment and let go of every assumption you have about the world. i mean absolutely everything you ASSUME you know. You may be surprised to find that you know nothing at all. Freeing isn’t it?

Peace and love and equality
Lindsay

Zen Einstein…..

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I work as a nanny for three amazing kids and everyday they surprise me. Always so curious asking tons of questions a day What are clouds made of? Why do people kiss on the lips? What happens when you die? They have this ability to believe anything I tell them (another reason why I love kids so much). I feel I was sometimes misinformed as a child so I always try to give them the most honest and true answers to their questions. Clouds are made of water, people kiss when they love each other, no one really knows what happens when you die.

This brings me to the topic of my blog today. One day while I was at work I noticed the kids calling others kids of darker skin as black or brown. This disturbed me as I had never referred to people of darker skin tone as a color (certainly not in front of them). It didn’t feel right to me to let them continue on using these terms so I said “Kids you don’t call people black or brown. Does anyone call you white? No. People are not colors they are simply people. We are all different shades some people are lighter shades others are darker.” They were about three at the time and that simple statement kiboshed their use of those words to describe people. The best part was seeing them go out into the world and spew this information to people young and old so proud of this new information they had learned. “Did you know people aren’t colors? They are shades? I’m a lighter shade!” (so cute, and the looks they get from people, priceless!).

Since then I have used this tactic to instill understanding and compassion for many other things such as homosexuality, adoption, poverty, amputations/physical differences/paralysis. These kids understand that you can love whoever you want, that some kids have many parents some have none, that we all are a little different but we are also all a little bit the same. They don’t seem to hold it against people their lifestyle choices or aesthetics. If you play with them and make them laugh, they will love you! I find it fascinating that such young children could understand and accept such concepts that most adults can’t or choose not to understand.

Let me make it clear, I am not trying to suggest I changed these kids lives or that I am Miss-Judgement Free 2012. I only wish that when I was a young I had someone to stop my stereotypes before I had time to develop them. Instead I work hard to break through a little bit of my judgements and generalizations everyday, that I feel, the society I grew up in conditioned. However the more I break through the easier it gets.

Children are our future. Ellen Degeneres was right when she suggested that Compassion should be a subject in school. Children are like sponges soaking of every last bit of information available. Why don’t we make the available information be ones of compassion, love, acceptance, and peace? Everyday I lose hope in humanity, it sometimes seems that people will never get it. We have 7 billion people each living in their own realities, how do you get them all to live as one? Is that even possible? Should I even care? I don’t know (as usual). All I do know is that when I see kids spreading words of support, empathy, happiness and helpfulness I gain back the little hope I had lost. Children are our hope.

Side note: Miss Judgement-Free 2012 intrigues me. Maybe a contest is in order?!………