Archive for the ‘philosophy’ Category

As I was scrolling through “topics” I came across a blogger who had this thought the power of a positive idea is greater than the power of a negative idea.  In reaction I had this thought who is to say whether an idea is positive or negative. Can an idea not just be an idea? Why do so may things in our lives have to have a charge, a meaning, a description? Again I ask, can things not just be things? Why does the grass have to be green, is it impossible for us to see it as just grass?

I often here people say there is no love without hate, or you have to take the good with the bad. I don’t know if I want to believe that, I think I would rather not have either than have pain, suffering, oppression, anger and bouts of happiness, bliss and love. Would the world really be boring if every feeling, idea, thought felt the same way? Not to say the every thought, feeling or idea would be the same but would affect us in the same way.

I then have to ask you this, is peace boring? In a sense if global peace was achieved we would all accept every aspect of existence/life as we know it on this planet. We would have respect for everyone and everything. All things would be different but be accepted in the same way or is that an unfair assumption of peace? I guess that’s what my idea of peace is.

 

Ambivalence. Most people may view ambivalence as a hinderance, but for me it has been a great gift. I first learned the word when I was about twelve after watching Girl, Interrupted. Since I was young I always had very conflicting feelings/views about many things. These feelings tended to create high levels of anxiety, because I just wanted to feel/think one thing at a time not many. When I learned of this word Ambivalence I knew that this is what I had been struggling with. As I learned more about the word and my feelings I realized not to fight this ambivalence. In fact having such love/hate feelings about things actually was helping me on my philosophical journey. Such opposing thoughts really helped rip me apart at my core(in a good way). Being pulled in two different directions aided me in learning that there is no direction. I still have bouts ambivalence but I just give into it, I don’t dwell on the fact that I have them. I let the feelings tear me apart and in turn the ambivalence is destroyed too, and I am left with a greater sense of being.

One of the worst parts about not having much experience with loss is seeing people hurt and suffer from invisible wounds and then realizing that this pain is going to happen to you, it will happen to you, and learning that you have to accept that this is a truth. People you love will die. It hurts to say, write, even type those words, but yet these words are fact. They say that the truth hurts, how painfully true. We’re born, we live, we die. What happens after death remains to be seen. After death, after life those are not absolutes; death is an absolute. Every human has one thing in common, we will all die; I try find peace in this knowing. 

“An open mind is an enlightened mind.” When your mind is open nothing can stick to it, you experience it, it passes through you and you move on.

I am not the Lover

I am not the Kind

I am not the Mother

I am not the Blind

I am not the Air

I am not the Sound

I am not the Fair

I am not the Found

I am not the Funny

I am not the Birth

I am not the Money

I am not the Earth

I am not the Tame

I am not the Bad

I am not the Blame

I am not the Sad

I am not the Wild

I am not the Scared

I am not the Child

I am not the Shared

I am not the Safe

I am not the Birds

I am not the Waif

I am not the Words

This is a poem I wrote in middle school about not being defined by the words the world uses to define you. I strive to be undefinable!

Everything is connected, everything came from this strange random place that we call the Universe. Who knows why we are here; Maybe there’s no reason, maybe there’s a grand reason. All I know, is that I don’t know; And I would much rather live in a peaceful place of not knowing than in a world where there is a billion different explanations for one random seemingly unexplainable thing.

I dream of a world where nothing matters. Things like who you are, what you believe, what you do, what you have, who you know do not matter. We are all mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, victims, heroes, criminals. We may live in different places, thousands of miles away but our fundamental problems are the same. We all want to be happy, we want love, we want connection we want other people to feel our pain; Relate to us, mourn with us, pray with us, laugh with us. We want to share our lives with others.

The sad truth is that we ache so much for connection that we begin to make up lies and characteristics that we hope will impress other people and help us relate to one another instead of just being who we are fundamentally as human beings. We lock our true, sacred feelings inside, letting them burn into our souls; all the while covering the scars of who we are with ideas and beliefs that are acceptable to everyone but yourself. 

In this world we know very little, however we have the perception that we know everything. We spend all this time worrying about ours things, relationships, aesthetics and frankly our own opinions. If people only realized that an opinion is nothing but a group of your personal perceptions about any one said thing. For instance, “That couch is beautiful,” is only a perception of the object; It is not soft or hard, beautiful nor ugly, the couch is simply a couch. Perception is everything in this world, in a way it’s humanity’s  greatest downfall. 

There once was a girl who lived in a box

She was taught to keep quiet

A voice urged her to talk

Over and over the voice told her to defy

Still keeping silent

She wondered why

“What’s outside this small, confined space?”

The voice posed the question;

The answer her mind wouldn’t chase

“Nothing,” she replied so incredulously

How dare such a query

This voice, how can it be?

Everyday the voice louder, questioning still

“How do you know?”

This was not her own will

“Alas my dear child you can find what is true,”

She wanted the answers

The voice already knew

“Open this box, and outside you will see,”

“Peace, love, bliss,”

“Outside it is free.”

What an idea to accept into the mind

It had never before

She had always been blind

“How do I open this box where I stay,”

The voice had this answer

“You will find a simple way.”

The voice left her body never to return

She mourned the loss

She knew she must learn

One day the answer wildly arrived

The voice had left

It’s wisdom still thrived

The girl stood up and pushed high above

The box slid open

And then a small shove

With pressure behind her she reached up and out

The air was crisp

Then a sudden shout

“I did it, I made it, out here I can fly”

The voice was not dead

“It was always in I”

It didn’t matter that she wasn’t always free

Why would she care

Now she could just be

To the box she went to free all the rest

It was closed so tight

She knew just the test

The girl used her voice and planted a seed

Someone faintly heard

The voice it would free

Over and over she spoke loud and so clear

Until someone listened

And let go of their fear

First one then many came out of the cubed space

The looks they held

Relief on their face

Each time the box shut a new voice would arise

Out of the darkness

Releasing silent cries

There once was a girl who lived in the open

She helped crack the box

Too let hope seep in