Posts Tagged ‘poems’

Our Bed

Posted: March 26, 2013 in Love, poetry
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Our Bed (dramatic reading)

These tissues in our bed

Full of words we never said

These sheets are twisted and torn

From your wrath and my scorn

A mattress battered with hate

Many nights spent denying fate

This frame is broken and scarred

Our hearts were left without regard

And now we sit on the edge

Of what used to be our bed

Letting there be tears

Releasing all our fears

As the end does near

Wishing there was a way

To go back to that one day

That something had to be said

But you kept it in your head

As we lay together in our bed

And now all that remains

Is the memories of our pain

Both of our souls have been slain

This once was our bed

But all that was, is dead

One Lasting Forever (audio)

For us there is no forever

We knew that when we began this endeavor

We chose this path mutually

Divided, alone, we will hurt separately

The looming end poisons our time

Our love from the beginning was a great climb

Some moments are shared free of regret

Questions are pondered, Why have we met?

My life will be empty without you there

How am I to live gracefully without your care?

I want us to stay in this place together

Let’s make this moment the one lasting forever

These Tears

Posted: January 29, 2013 in Love, poetry, writing
Tags: , , , , , ,

The tears I cry

Burn my skin

Like acid

Thinking about

What we might have been

 

Trapped

thoughts circling

continuous

never stopping

 Lost

fears gaining

persistent

peace waiting 

 Scared

heart pounding

always

hope longing

 Stuck

body tingling

constant

ideas triggering

 Angry

fists clenching

forever

tense feeling

 Weep

mind lying

endless

eyes crying

 Stop

voices talking

eternal

sound mocking

 Free

soul escaping

moment

for taking

I have always been an anxious, nervous person ever since I was a child. I rarely find moments of complete calm, when my mind is quiet and I’m at peace (these moments are like rare gems to me, and I am always grateful for them). I have become adapt to being in an anxious state, in fact, for me it just feels like who I am. It never posed any problems for me up until a few months ago when I experienced my first anxiety attack. It was the most terrifying experience I have ever had. I liken it to being on a roller coaster, going 100km without a harness, and then free falling continuously for hours. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, I couldn’t breathe, I was hot and cold, shivering and tense. It’s the strangest feeling having your mind tell you you’re dying while at the same time telling you your fine, calm down its just anxiety. I wrote this poem about how it feels to be trapped in a state of illogical panic and the moment you break free and feel normal again. 

Some think I am weird

afraid to come to near

but I am not to be feared

 

He thinks I am a disease

expecting me to please

this is what he sees

 

She thinks I am poser

burning me with her smolder

wanting only for me to hold her

 

You think I am an inspiration

playing with your imagination

all of Me is a collaboration

 

They think I am insane

pushing to me to detain

but my spirit will not be slain

 

I think we can be free

if only we choose to see

each person selflessly


Inside this book is a story.

A story waiting to be told

but something deep inside

is making me withhold.

Written on these pages is a story.

A story wanting to be free

but something deep inside

is not letting it be.

Composed on this paper is a story.

A story yearning to be read

but something deep inside

is refusing to be said.

Printed on these lines is a story.

A story aching for a start

but something deep inside

is denying its true art.

Inside my heart is a story

A story seeping out

but something deep inside

is preying on my self doubt.

I stumbled across some of my old poetry while going through the memory box my Mother made for me when I graduated. I love  reading through my old journals from school. Sometimes I feel like a completely different person than when I was a child but in the same respect   I sometimes feel exactly the same (there goes my ambivalence again!). Here are 4 poems I wrote from grade 5 to grade 8. The first is a poem I wrote for Remembrance Day in honour of my grandfathers that fought in both WWI and WWII. The second poem is the only limerick I ever wrote (definitely not my strong suit!). The third poem is also not one of my best but I felt the need to share it because as a child and an adult I am always questioning why things are the way they are and what if they weren’t that way, what if? The last poem I wrote from a personal experience. A family member very close to me was in an abusive relationship for a long time and thankfully she was able to break free, I wrote the poem years after she had recovered from the relationship but as you can see it still was affecting me. Hope you enjoy!

Soldiers Lie

Soldiers lie in the darkness of death.

Soldiers lie in the grass of the cemetery.

Soldiers lie in the poppies of the summer.

Soldiers lie in the freedom of our country.

 

A Weird Limerick

There once was A TIME

WHEN I wrote a RHYME

About a BOY that FLIED

HE flied and FLIED until HE DIED

THAT was the time that I wrote a RHYME

 

What If?

What if the sky was green?

What if down was up and up was down?

What if?

What if the grass was purple?

What if guys were girls and girls were guys?

What if?

What if people were green?

What if one was two and two was one?

What if the whole world was different?

What if?

 

Why didn’t I run?

We used to love each other every single day,

But now I cannot wait for him to go away.

 

I don’t know what happened? He used to be so sweet,

But now all he does to me is hit, kick and beat.

 

He made my daughter watch as he slammed my head into the wall.

There she stood shocked, amazed and then she started to bawl.

 

Why do I let him do those horrible things, why don’t I run away?

Why do I put up with this pain day after day?

 

He made me think it was my fault that he did those thing to me,

But deep down inside I completely disagree.

 

I’m fed up with all of this, I’ve already started to pack,

And next time he try’s to hit me I just might hit him back.

Racing in the sun, searching desperately for my gun.

Running as far from the pain, how much can my heart contain?

Pacing away anxiety, if only I believed in a deity.

Gunning for a place that’s free, wishing only to believe.

Lie

Lie always

Lie never

Lie then, lie now

Lie for you

Lie for me

Breathe

Breathe in

Breathe out

Breathe deep, breathe slow

Breathe while sleeping

Breathe while awake

Cry

Cry more

Cry less

Cry morning, cry night

Cry when happy

Cry when sad

Think 

Think hard

Think soft

Think less, think more

Think in madness

Think in peace

See

See everything

See nothing

See loss, see bliss

See the light

See the darkness

Live

Live once

Live always

Live caged, live boundless

Live with love

Live with freedom

I was going through my Facebook reading all the notes, articles and poems I wrote several years ago. Reminds me of the feelings I had during a darker period in my life. When I read these words I can feel how trapped I felt during that time, I was so young, so confused about life. I’m glad I can now say I am free and full and open. Hope these words can help others realize we all go through dark periods and sadness but you can overcome it, and you will overcome it and once you have overcome it you can begin to help others come out of their own darkness.”Be someones light at the end of their tunnel.”
do you ever feel like your completely lost
like nothing in life comes without cost

do you ever feel like all the people stare
like they look at you but really dont care

do you ever feel like the pain will never leave
like everyone around you thinks you’re so naive

do you ever feel like life moves to fast
like there it was but now its the past

do you ever feel like pushing them away
like you want them to go, but really to stay

do you ever feel like leaving this place
like disappearing into space

do you ever feel like you’re losing it all
like no matter what your going to fall

do you ever feel like trying to flee
because if you do, you can talk to me