Posts Tagged ‘unwisdom’

I found this note as I was perusing my Facebook and I had to laugh. I wrote this Blog right before my 19th Birthday about becoming an adult and what that means. Surprisingly I still agree with much of the things I wrote, all except one. I don’t think at 18/19 you’re an adult. Hell I’m almost 24 and I still struggle with the possibility that I am becoming an adult. These days I try to hang onto anything that can be considered youthful (i.e. my imagination and love for colouring books lol). I thought I would share this blog with you all in hopes that maybe you would get a laugh out of it or maybe even some support or inspiration. It’s fun/nostalgic to look back on your former, younger self. I almost feel like a completely different person (I guess I kind of am!) Hope you enjoy and please if you have anything to contribute to the concepts of adulthood please do!

Things I learned after I turned 18, and moved out: (August 2, 2007)

Now that I am fast approaching my 19th birthday I think it is fitting to look back on this year, and the many things I have learned that come with becoming an adult and moving out. So, when you turn 18 you don’t really feel any different. I mean of course there is the obvious excitement of graduating and becoming what you so longed to be an “adult”. But not till now did I realise what it really means to be an adult. Adulthood is not something that can fully be described, because you cannot fully understand it until you are there. Here are some of the interesting, funny, and stressful things I learned in the past year of becoming an adult.

1. Family is always there for you, no matter how much they anger you, no matter if you hate them and are frustrated with them, they will always be there. You have to learn to swallow your pride, and go back to them when there’s no one else. And yes I know it’s hard, but it has to happen and it will happen.

2. You don’t know everything. Contrary to what you may think now, it’s true. And once you take the time to realise that you don’t know everything, you actually learn more. You become more open to new ideas, and see that sometimes your wrong and sometimes you need help.

3. Responsibility sucks, yeah that’s right I said it. Seriously being in charge of your own life is not as peachy as it sounds. Simple decisions become stressful and you need to make choices that used to be made for you. For example, going to school or doing your homework. You need to decide and make choices that can make or break your life, and that’s stressful and hard, and ongoing…but don’t worry it does get easier the more choices you make.

4. Grocery shopping is harder than it looks. You soon learn why your mom never bought the food you wanted, why because it’s expensive, and honestly not that good for you. I know it sucks to hear, but eating healthy is important and you have a new respect for it once you get over puking from all the junk you eat when you first leave.

5.Your parents were right when they told you to go to bed early. I mean not that I obey this rule now because I don’t, but you do realise that once a week you should go to bed at a reasonable hour. Trust me you will feel refreshed and be ready for another late night on the town.

6. Friends will be lost. Yes, people your best friend from elementary school will grow up to, and in turn you may grow apart. I experienced much of this in the past year. When you become and adult so do your friends and your like and dislikes become different and in turn you may grow apart. Not to say that this happens in every situation but just know to be prepared to lose some friends.

7. New friends will be gained. You will meet new people and maybe even meet people who will change your life. You may even find your best friends in this stage. During stressful, awkward, and tough times you are forced to bond will people who are going through the same situation. In my case this was my roommate and a girl I met in my first semester English class. I know it’s hard to think of the positive in this crazy year, but I have two of the best friends ever thanks to it.

8. Budgeting money is important. Again your parents were right when they told you to save up. Okay I know this is starting to become a “parents are always right” article, but surprisingly they are right about lots of things. Budgeting money is hard but it has to be done, and soon wants get put on the back burner and needs are what you focus on.

9. Good Times are to be had. So most of these things may seem negative or depressing, but seriously this past year, even with all the stress has been one of the best of my life. You learn to laugh at the situation you are in and make light of it, and you learn how to change it for the better. Like I say you have to dig through all the crap to get to all the good times.

So to all the youngins out there fast approaching adulthood, don’t be worried, don’t be sad just be prepared. Soon you will be experiencing some of the best memories you’ll ever have. Just remember this little tid bit, digging for gold never came without cost but the payoff is worth it. And I encourage you all to no matter what keep on digging, and pushing, and fighting, life it gets easier, trust me I went through it.

I love how I suggested that I went through life, I had barely lived at all yet, oh the naivety of youth! 

“Anything can happen…and…anything does.”

This quote and entire movie blew my mind! It is a tragic and inspiring story weaved together by great performances and amazing writing. The Poker House written and directed by Lori Petty (who also happens to act in one of my favourite movies EVER A League of Their Own) and based on her experiences growing up in a poor rural town in IowaJennifer Lawrence provides a stunning performance as Agnes (her acting is amazing in everything she does also see Winter’s Bone). This quote just hit me in the chest, it’s so simple but yet so true in a world where honesty is often avoided.

And that’s the Truth

I am constantly surprised by how people I know and love think about the world and the people in it. I recently had a discussion with a friend about how much people generalize humans into specific groups, whether it be gender, sexual orientation, race, culture or career. Where I am from there is many misconceptions about First Nations/Native/Indian/Aboriginal people. Many people describe this race as being alcoholics/lazy/addicts/bums/dirty/homeless people. There is a terrible history between what you may classify settlers of Canada and the original people from the continent, the First Nations. I do not wish to get into the specifics but there was many wars and disagreements and conflicts that eventually ended in the signing of the Treaties. Sadly this did not end the hate and bigotry towards the race, in some ways it made the judgments and generalizations worse.

This brings me to a conversation I recently had with a friend. I was fighting my point that you just cannot generalize any group of people (on this day we were specifically talking about aboriginals) because not all people are the same not matter what “group” you may personally assign them to. This friend then gave me the example of two apple trees:

On one side you have an apple tree that produces mainly bright red, perfect apples, that appear to be the best apples out there however, this  tree produces a few apples that are misshapen, brown and mushy. On the other side you have the same kind of apple tree that appears to produce predominantly bad apples that aren’t as appealing as the others. But again on that same tree there is also bright red, crisp, perfect apples that look the same as the other attractive apples on the opposite tree. The friend then asked Which tree do you pick apples from, which tree to you water and keep alive? The tree with the abundance of “good” apples or the tree with mostly “bad” apples?

I answered honestly, in the fact that innately if it was for survival I would probably pick from the “good” apple tree and support its life. However, if I was being logical I would simply pick the “good” apples from both trees and support growth of both trees since neither tree was completely without flaw. I also implied that it was not realistic to use a metaphor about a plants and apply it to human behaviour.

This friend was not enthused by my answer and suggested that I, as well as everyone would choose the good tree because we live in a survival of the fittest world. I began to explain that I don’t believe we live in that kind of reality anymore (at least in the western world) I believe we don’t have to leave the sick/weak/suffering/struggling to die or rot in their own life just so we can keep on living. I believe (in this day) we have the power overcome what some may call our innate sense of selfishness, our ability to pick out peoples differences and avoid things that make us uncomfortable. I told this friend that I believed this because I live it. I work on breaking through my judgments and stereotypes because I meet people who break the ideals I or society have imposed upon them. This friend still believed that it was not possible for me to do what I am doing, and we ended the discussion at that.

The funny thing is if it wasn’t possible for me to break through my own misconceptions then I wouldn’t have been able to keep this person as a friend. Just because he/she had these stereotypes about these people I didn’t judge him/her. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, that is my opinion. There is a reason that I did not use a name in this blog, because this blog is not about attacking someone for their beliefs its about understanding that not all people have or rather choose to have an open mind. Sometimes people find that living inside the box is safer, easier and more fruitful. Being on the outside I can only reach my hand in and offer a possible way out.

I enjoy to having these kinds of discussions with people. I like to talk about things that may cause them discomfort or anxiety in an attempt to make them think or see things differently. I don’t know if this friend ever thought of our discussion again, but I know I think about it often. It just makes me wonder what other things people believe, what other things people think they know about the world. It also worries me that still in this day people are so consumed in their own ideas and opinions. When will we stop thinking of the world as billions of individuals with certain characteristics trying to survive and start thinking of it as one solid system of life, love and happiness?

I was suggested this video by a fellow blogger who thought I might be intrigued by it. He was right! I am not a business person but what this guy is talking about makes sense. The only way to be successful and inspiring is to know WHY you do something. Not the end result of WHAT you want to accomplish. It is a tad long and may seem boring to some but the last 4 minutes of the video is worth everything. After all “Martin Luther King wrote the I have a Dream Speech not the I have a Plan speech.” The Golden Circle is something we all should look into applying in our lives. Hope you take some time to watch! 🙂

http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action.html

http://liberatedself.wordpress.com/

This story has been haunting me, these characters are so real, honest and true to me. I cried when I wrote this part. I realized these people are so much a part of me and this is a story I need to tell and it is a story that will be told, my mind will accept nothing less. Here is another blurb from Gray Hayles: (I apologize for not including names but I would like to keep some things a secret so when I finish the story all of it isn’t known)

As we walked underneath the canopy of stars, I wrapped my arm around her waist. Holding her hand was not enough anymore, I had to have her closer, nearer, soaking in all the warmth of her love she so freely radiated. She was like my own personal sunshine, penetrating me with constant rays of love, compassion and kindness. I felt her slide her hand up my neck, she pulled me in close locking her chocolate gaze on mine. She gently pressed her velvet lips against mine, my hands began to tingle and my knees went weak. I squeezed her waist tighter, desperately trying to keep myself from falling into her body. Just then she pulled away and looked me deep in the eye. She drew in a deep breath, smiled that glorious smile and said, “Thank God I met you, ” she uttered the words with such conviction.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain at the base of my skull, as I fell to the ground I heard her scream. Momentarily blinded I began to panic, my ears went silent and I was transported to a dark, warm place where I had an overt sense of happiness. I began to question am I dead? In an instant I was thrust back to reality. My eyes jolted open and my chest convulsed as I gulped air into my deprived lungs.

As things slowly came into focus I saw her face, she smiled, but as things became clearer I was struck. There was no words to describe the horror I felt in that moment. Her face was swollen and badly bruise, she had a large lump above her left cheek which was pressed awkwardly against the road. Her leather jacket was gone and her dress was torn exposing her skin which was now painted a beautiful shade of red. I examined her body for other afflictions but everything seemed intact. There was an unusual amount of blood pooling around her  head, it began to leak into the cracks in the pavement, every second rushing closer to me. She kept her brown marble eyes on me, her breathing became slower, her smile never left. I noticed my own river of blood escaping my body, creating its own streams, snaking through the road eventually merging into an ocean of blood dividing us. It was warm, like a liquid blanket protecting me from the brisk midnight air.

I tried to speak but nothing would come out, I tried to move but it was as if my muscles had left my body. My bones felt like metal rods grinding my flesh into the cement. My right arm was stretched out in front of me, I wished I could reach further and touch her face. She began to flinch and cough, then a small stream of blood fell from her mouth. Still looking at me she began to drag her arm from the side of her body. It seemed to take hours for her to reach my fingers, but she did. There we lay, our arms drowning in a cocktail of our blood. She began to cough more, choking on the flow pouring from her mouth.

I began to accept that this was it, this was how we would die. I was trying to make peace out of this knowing. I tried to be thankful for being able to share our last moments together, but I was resentful. I felt her squeeze what little of my hand she had grasped. Staring at her, I focussed all my energy on squeezing back. I must have succeeded because I saw her beautiful face display a broader smile. Within seconds of what I now know was our last embrace, she took her last breath and her lips released the crescent she had so stubbornly held. Her eyes never closed and her spirit did not abandon the earth, instead she hovered above my body raining down a gentle calm. My stare was locked on her once glistening eyes as rivers flowed from mine.

At first I began to ask for her back, begging the universe, promising my life, if only she would come back to her body, back to me. When my attempts failed I then began to ask to be taken with her, but my prayers were not answered. Instead I laid there labouring to breathe, my head throbbing in pain, my love laying there lifeless parallel to my body. I felt like I had been there for days but as I looked up I realized the canopy of stars still lit the night sky.

If only we could see, what this world could be

Always thinking of me, me, me

Never of the others suffering

  –

Trying to find ways to flee, avoiding conflict desperately

Always fighting to be free

Why can’t we all live in harmony?

I started a Words of Unwisdom YouTube channel where I will be posting inspirational videos and a few creations of my own. If you have any videos you would like to share with me please do. Also I’m hoping to do a Video blog once a month on a range of topics (depending on my schedule). Right now all I have posted is a simple video of my poem There Once was a Girl who Lived in a Box, but I plan to get more content up in the next few weeks. Check it out if your interested and share it if your inspired to do so!